Don’t Want To Raise A Mean Girl: Don’t Be Mean!

small_430162762Today marks the timeless movie Mean Girls 10th Anniversary. Why do I even know this when I can barely remember my own anniversary? Thanks to the internet this silly fact is stalking my computer and taking space in my cerebrum – and well I’ll admit I’m familiar with the movie. My daughter and I watched it at least 20 times the summer between eighth and ninth grade and many times after that.

What’s the appeal? Well, it is funny and the younger, untarnished Lindsay Lohan is wonderful and Tina Fey is on top of her game and hilarious. The major appeal is the truth behind all of the cliches and cliques. High school has not changed all that much, the social hierarchy is hard to climb and trying to figure out how you fit in can be insurmountable at 14. As for me, I attended an all girl high school sans drama and I have always been a little curious about what I missed out on. My daughter on the other hand is finishing up at a high achieving but pretty typical high school with a host of cliques and students that resemble some of the characters in the movie.

We watched and laughed and I believe that my daughter learned how to navigate the choppy waters of high school by harboring a little secret – that being part of a “select” group or clique sometimes means turning your back on authenticity. This secret was really culled by the passage of time and watching the parody of bad manners, narcissism, social climbing and peer pressure depicted in the movie – all in the name of fitting in.

Along my daughter’s high school journey she has lost and gained friends but has pretty much manned her own boat – she let go of trying to fit in or being part of any select group. For that I’m proud and though it’s made her life slightly harder she answers only to herself – not a higher being that serves as the axis of her world. Truth be told, I operate the same way. On the social front, I like to call myself “equal opportunity.” I enjoy all types of people and have friends at all stages of life.

Sad truth, is that I see a lot of this “clique mentality” among women and though I steer clear of it I just want to say that everything we do as mothers is simultaneously being observed by a very important set of eyes. Your daughter is watching your every move, so I implore don’t send messages about people and friendship that are insular. We owe our girls more than that.

photo credit: <a href=””>Odenosuke</a> via <a href=””>photopin</a> <a href=””>cc</a>


  1. When I became comfortable in my own skin the opinions of “the crowd” diminished.Thank you for sharing this empowering message.

    • Thanks for reading Mary! It’s all about being comfortable in our skin – and being proud of who we are!

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